Friday, 22 July 2016

Because of his bullying, William is practically gagged on Facebook!!

Well it's funny how things work isn't it Howlers/trolls/terrorrists/horror socials. It seems, after we went on a spree of reporting every post of William's where he namecalls someone, uses derogatory/racist/homophobic language or generally talks down to people, William is pretty much gagged on every one of his profiles on Facebook. How awesome is that?

Not only that, but apart from a couple of crappy Podcasts where films/production company's names weren't pronounced correctly (Amegus, for example, just like the deceased Horror Bob used to say it) he hasn't written a single blog or done one of his 'Coffee bvlogs (just watch him on the introductions. He can't decide whether to say Blog or vlog, so he usually ends up combining the two.

So William, you want to deny that you are a bully? That you don't harrass people? How are we able to report all of your posts that do just this, and facebook stands by us? Do you notice how they don't stand by you? The complaints we are making against you are upheld, whilst yours are thrown away like dirty diapers (you know, like Depends).

Yet again, as well as all the truth we have revealed and weathering another tirade from him solely focused on Dani Carnage complete with threats of court action and numerous 'Fuck off's', he has well and truly lost. Oh, and he got sacked by Linkville after claiming Linkville couldn't fire him.

Now there are even more people coming forward and speaking out against the seething mass of half-digested sandwiches, pirated horror films and terrible fan fiction and people continue coming forward.

You see William has wronged so many people. William has lied so much, he can't differentiate between reality and fiction. He is what is known as a pathological liar. He believes everything that comes out of his mouth (even though pretty much the only things that come out of his mouth are bits of food when he is eating and insults that were used in the 70s, as well as degrading, homophobic, racist and sexist remarks.

We are here for the long haul William. You can threaten with court all you wish. I know that Bobby Livingston has a case for defamation of character. I know that singling someone out with learning difficulties and calling them a 'retard' is considered a hate crime in the UK. We were all threatened by Brittany Thompson, who said she'd decapitate us with her friends and get people to hack our facebooks amongst other things. Although that was you, but it'll be hilarious you having to answer that in court. You also threatened Dani Carnage a few days ago. Oh, and just so you know, we can call witnesses, and if you lie under oath (such as saying Horror Bob is real, or I wrote Star Trek II and III, or I dated Kathleen Wilhoite) that is called Perjury, which is telling an untruth or making a misrepresentation under oath.

Your bravado does nothing for you. You just continue to perpetuate lies to try and save any credibility you have left (you don't have any credibility left though, just to let you know). You keep calling us liars, but this is mere projection to save yourself from the tides of truth that swallow you.

We have screen-shots of all of this William, so if you wish to go to court, please do. Our parody page isn't against the law. This blog isn't against the law.

So, anyways, keep America strong, drink your gravy and eat your Subways! Mine's a footlong!


Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Inarguable proof that William Pattison IS Horror Bob.

Listening to the latest Wolf Pack Podcast, you will hear William Pattison aka Eric Morse talk about The Blood on Satan's Claw. He mentions a British Production company called Amegus. Yes, I'm sure he means Amicus. He say's Amegus around three times.

Here is the show where he says 'Amegus' around three times. I have included it here in full, because I completely expect William to remove it once he sees this.


So? He's obviously misheard the name right? Well, you might think that, but what are the chances both William Pattison and 'Horror' Bob Martin both know the company as Amegus? Pretty much less than zero right?

Well, if one were to check Horror Bob's 'HERO' post on Overblog (which you can reach by clicking HERE) you will see that Horror Bob does indeed also call the company Amegus.

'As we ate we talked horror. William has a wonderful knowledge of classic horror. We talked about Universal horror films and Hammer. We even chatted briefly about an old Amegus film we both enjoyed but has become a lost treasure, The Asphyx'.

So there you have it. One person making that mistake is somewhat believable (even though he considers himself an expert on horror). But two self-proclaimed experts on horror? To quote my mentor 'Get a fucking clue'.

So, anyways, keep America strong, watch horror films, drink your gravy and eat your Subways. Mine's a footlong!!

Monday, 4 July 2016

100 names William Pattison is known by, and not one of them is 'horror author' or 'Eric Morse'.

Hello Howlers, and welcome to the latest post on Devour my Footlong. Today, after trawling the web looking at the different ways people describe William Pattison aka Eric Morse, and finding out that he may in fact not be Eric Morse at all, I thought I'd bring you one hundred names William Pattison is known by, and not one of them is Horror Author or Eric Morse. So, anyways, people, alrighty then:

1: Willy
2: Willy Patt
3: Hot Jizzum Master
4: Patticakes
5: Subway Crusher
6: Ugly Balloon Man
7: That idiot who always sticks his tongue out
8: What the Fuck?
9: Oh my flippin' God
10: The man who masturbates on the phone while talking to Anitra DeLorento
11: Piece of Shit
12: The guy who thinks Facebook friends are real, and cries about it if you disagree
13: Troll
14: Cyber Bully
15: Buzz Hound
16: Plagarist
17: The guy who wrote shitty books that had the Friday the 13th name on them, but didn't even feature Jason
18: Asshole
19: My favourite asshole
20: Kathleen Wilhoite's imaginary boyfriend
21: Smooch-a-sauras
22: Deranged
23: Crazy
24: Incontinent
25: The guy with one breast hanging much lower than the other
26: Cock-Shiner
27: Clit-Wart
28: Shit-pants Pattison
29: The fan fiction writer who saw a shadow and shit himself
30: The Guy who was voted out of the horror community
31: The Guy who was thrown out of the Paranormal Community
32: That fan fiction writer
33: Creepy stalker guy
34: The fat whiny guy
35: 5'4" of virgin
36: The guy who calls his hand Kathleen
37: The guy who called his Jeep Kathleen
38: The guy who has never known The Soska's
39: The sandwich guy
40: Jizzstainedtshirtman
41: The 52 year old virgin
42: The man who has never seen his penis
43: The man who got scared when women tried to kiss him in a club
44: The man who was offered anal sex by a thin woman, he turned her down, told her he was disgusted and ran away
45: Poor Willy
46: Delusional Willy
47: Shitty Fan Fiction writer
48: Billy Jack
49: Brittany Lynn Thompson
50: Jeanette Thompson
51: John Margolis
52: The squeaky-voiced fuck-nugget
53: The man who bragged he couldn't get sacked by Linkville Press, only to find himself sacked by Linkville Press
54: William Pattison who?
55: Who the fuck is William Pattison
56: That idiot who says he wrote Star Trek II
57: That idiot who says he wrote Star Trek III
58: That idiot who claims he wrote Yesterday's Enterprise
59: The guy who wrote the NON CANON Friday the 13th YOUNG ADULT novels
60: The guy who didn't write the NON CANON Friday the 13th YOUNG ADULT novels
61: Jizzmopper
62: Jizzlicker
63: Jizztaster
64: Master of Jizzum
65: Jizzum master
66: The man with his own gravitational pull
67: The man who can eat a Subway cookie in three bites
68: The guy who smells like dead racoon
69: The guy who smells like fish mixed with dead racoon and body odor
70: Mister Bouncy-belly
71: The Pedophile's best friend
72: Cry-baby
73: the boy who cried WAH
74: The victim
75: Guardian of the horror community
76: Movie pirate
77: Captain Spack-Notnarrow
78: Blimp
79: The guy who carries Jason's mask around like it's a security blanket
80: The guy who can't edit videos
81: The guy who stole shots from a movie and tried to pass them off as B-real footage
82: That guy who works at Walmart
83: The guy with the shitty pants
84: The cowardly lion
85: Clawless Pussy
86: Mr Block and then talk shit
87: Misogynist
88: Homophobe
89: Bill
90: Big Bill
91: Big Fat Bill
92: Demolition-ball-bill
93: The guy who eats from trashcans
94: San Matero's supersized superhero
95: Mr keychain and trenchcoat
96: The guy who flashes at anyone who'll look
97: Shitstream
98: Poopy McPoopson
99: Who?
100: Why?

So, anyways, keep America strong, drink your gravy and eat your Subways. Mine's a footlong!