100 names William Pattison is known by, and not one of them is 'horror author' or 'Eric Morse'.

Hello Howlers, and welcome to the latest post on Devour my Footlong. Today, after trawling the web looking at the different ways people describe William Pattison aka Eric Morse, and finding out that he may in fact not be Eric Morse at all, I thought I'd bring you one hundred names William Pattison is known by, and not one of them is Horror Author or Eric Morse. So, anyways, people, alrighty then:

1: Willy
2: Willy Patt
3: Hot Jizzum Master
4: Patticakes
5: Subway Crusher
6: Ugly Balloon Man
7: That idiot who always sticks his tongue out
8: What the Fuck?
9: Oh my flippin' God
10: The man who masturbates on the phone while talking to Anitra DeLorento
11: Piece of Shit
12: The guy who thinks Facebook friends are real, and cries about it if you disagree
13: Troll
14: Cyber Bully
15: Buzz Hound
16: Plagarist
17: The guy who wrote shitty books that had the Friday the 13th name on them, but didn't even feature Jason
18: Asshole
19: My favourite asshole
20: Kathleen Wilhoite's imaginary boyfriend
21: Smooch-a-sauras
22: Deranged
23: Crazy
24: Incontinent
25: The guy with one breast hanging much lower than the other
26: Cock-Shiner
27: Clit-Wart
28: Shit-pants Pattison
29: The fan fiction writer who saw a shadow and shit himself
30: The Guy who was voted out of the horror community
31: The Guy who was thrown out of the Paranormal Community
32: That fan fiction writer
33: Creepy stalker guy
34: The fat whiny guy
35: 5'4" of virgin
36: The guy who calls his hand Kathleen
37: The guy who called his Jeep Kathleen
38: The guy who has never known The Soska's
39: The sandwich guy
40: Jizzstainedtshirtman
41: The 52 year old virgin
42: The man who has never seen his penis
43: The man who got scared when women tried to kiss him in a club
44: The man who was offered anal sex by a thin woman, he turned her down, told her he was disgusted and ran away
45: Poor Willy
46: Delusional Willy
47: Shitty Fan Fiction writer
48: Billy Jack
49: Brittany Lynn Thompson
50: Jeanette Thompson
51: John Margolis
52: The squeaky-voiced fuck-nugget
53: The man who bragged he couldn't get sacked by Linkville Press, only to find himself sacked by Linkville Press
54: William Pattison who?
55: Who the fuck is William Pattison
56: That idiot who says he wrote Star Trek II
57: That idiot who says he wrote Star Trek III
58: That idiot who claims he wrote Yesterday's Enterprise
59: The guy who wrote the NON CANON Friday the 13th YOUNG ADULT novels
60: The guy who didn't write the NON CANON Friday the 13th YOUNG ADULT novels
61: Jizzmopper
62: Jizzlicker
63: Jizztaster
64: Master of Jizzum
65: Jizzum master
66: The man with his own gravitational pull
67: The man who can eat a Subway cookie in three bites
68: The guy who smells like dead racoon
69: The guy who smells like fish mixed with dead racoon and body odor
70: Mister Bouncy-belly
71: The Pedophile's best friend
72: Cry-baby
73: the boy who cried WAH
74: The victim
75: Guardian of the horror community
76: Movie pirate
77: Captain Spack-Notnarrow
78: Blimp
79: The guy who carries Jason's mask around like it's a security blanket
80: The guy who can't edit videos
81: The guy who stole shots from a movie and tried to pass them off as B-real footage
82: That guy who works at Walmart
83: The guy with the shitty pants
84: The cowardly lion
85: Clawless Pussy
86: Mr Block and then talk shit
87: Misogynist
88: Homophobe
89: Bill
90: Big Bill
91: Big Fat Bill
92: Demolition-ball-bill
93: The guy who eats from trashcans
94: San Matero's supersized superhero
95: Mr keychain and trenchcoat
96: The guy who flashes at anyone who'll look
97: Shitstream
98: Poopy McPoopson
99: Who?
100: Why?


So, anyways, keep America strong, drink your gravy and eat your Subways. Mine's a footlong!