Haha Patticake Hahah.

Mr Pattison aka Eric Morse makes me laugh ladies and gentlemen. It seems someone called him out on a Foreword (yes, Mr Pattison, contrary to your spelling in Psychotic State: The Novel, Foreward is spelt with two 'E's') he wrote for an author who shall remain nameless, as we do not wish him any negative press.

It became hilarious when Mr Pattison complained that the writer had removed his foreward (remember, two 'E's') from his book. Oh how we found this hilarious. Us who have no power, who William isn't bothered by, who just talk shit.

It got even funnier when Pattison called out this author, and went on a tirade about not giving in to naysayers (because blocking and then talking shit about someone is the way to go). He claims someone gave the writers book a negative review, but this was never the case. William was called a liar, which followers of this blog will know has been proven again and again. How this constitutes as a bad review, I will never know.

So it is safe to say that William has burned that bridge. His ego has meant that he has once more blown up and alienated people with his ranting and raving, proving us right once more.

Even funnier, poor old Billy Jack, the 'leader' of the horror socials was blamed. Apparently William is going to sue him for Libel. Now, if this were the case, William would have to prove he isn't a liar, under oath. Which means the whole world would know about him not writing any Star Trek movie or episodes. The whole world would know Johnny Depp doesn't have a clue who he is. They would know that Guadalupe Gonzalez is a figment of William's terrible imagination. They would also know that he was the one who made the frankly disgusting comment about wishing certain ladies involved in horror get 'roofied and raped'.

So, anyways, keep America strong, drink your gravy and eat Subways. Mines a footlong!

His stupidity knows no bounds.

We were contacted by someone yesterday evening, who claims that William Pattison is blaming him for all of the 'trolling' that is going on. His reason for believing this? Because this Blogger page's address ends in '.co.uk'.

We have had it pointed out to us that there is no way Pattison could see this, as Blogger addresses are area specific, so if you were in Canada, you would see this blogsite as 'devourmyfootlong.ca' and so on.

More to the point, as William lives in San Mateo, it would appear to him as '.com'. How he has managed to decipher from this who is behind the parody page defies the realm of imagination. I also have it on good authority that Pattison shared this person's email address with others (for reasons which are unknown so far).

The fact is, he will not find out who we are until we choose to reveal who we are. We could be male, female or Eunech. We could live in the U.S, Canada, the UK or Australia. The fact is, William doesn't know anything, so he is going to continue to shit-sling at the wall until some of his projectile sticks.

But you are losing so far William. You are making more people fight for our cause. You lay the blame at people's feet, and these people are innocent. They then come to us. So please, continue.

You are finally, for once in your life, entertaining horror fans with your idiocy and random 'it's you' comments. Keep blaming people. Maybe one day, you will hit the nail on the head. But I doubt it. Your cluelessness speaks volumes. No one is defending you. No one is coming to your aid.

William Pattison made thousands of dollars, yet none of the other guests get paid?

Horror and scares my fellow footlong lovers. Yes Howlers, it appears William Pattison's lies have caught up to him once more. Due to a poor turnout (according to people who went to the convention), guests have not been paid for appearing at the convention.

Hold on though, didn't William Pattison say he made lots of money and was constantly busy at the convention? Isn't he fishing for photos of himself and his (imaginary) fans took of him at the convention?

The above statement answers these questions. He is lying again. Another lame attempt at making himself seem to be something he will never be. He insults the intelligence of everyone who considers him to be anything other than a lying sack of half digested Subways and Burgers.

Why oh why oh why do you lie. Is it because you ate all the pies?

It seems my mentor is posting once more. But it also seems he still hasn't learned to differentiate between truth and fiction, as he continues to 'create' his own adventures every time he leaves the house.


Let's begin by looking at this photo of good ole Willy Shitpants at the Martinsville Horrorfest.

Look how he is all alone, and even has time to acknowledge the photographer (he is obviously looking straight at the person taking the photo).

Things got interesting earlier today when Mr FecalTrow posted the following on his facebook.

'Ok, here is the final total on my sales at Martinsville Horrorfest. I sold 35 copies out of the 42 copies of Psychotic State I brought: I gave 4 copies out to people for free.. I sold 10 out of the 15 copies of The Traveler: A Conflict of Interest. I also sold 100 autographed 8X10 postcards and handed out 24 free 5X7 pictures I had with me. Finally, I gave out 150 autographed Robert Diablo book marks. So I think I did very well. The majority of the sales were on Saturday which was our busiest day of the convention. Also, I signed 11 complete sets and four individual books of the Camp Crystal Lake Novels. So, not bad, not bad at all'.

Now, I'm going to keep this simple. The numbers are far too rounded to be actual stats of his sales. He gave away 150 autographed bookmarks? But he mentioned previously that these bookmarks would be sold for $1 when people bought his 8 X 10 postcards, of which 100 were sold (at ten dollars each). So he's made $1100 already through that alone. 35 copies of Psychotic State: The Novel would have made him $350, while selling ten copies of his Traveler (notice how Traveller isn't spelt correctly) book would have made him another $100 or thereabouts (on the assumption he was selling his books for ten dollars a pop). So as a total, he made something around the region of $1550. I find it strange that all the numbers he gives are quite round. There is a pattern to them (which is very very strange indeed). 

As previously mentioned, look at his table. He's alone. All by himself. 

He was situated in the corner, by the kitchen. I assume this was so he didn't get angry for not getting any visitors. They subdued him with Subways. Footlongs of course.

I wonder where he kept these 42 copies of Psychotic State and 15 copies of The Traveler (correct spelling: The Traveller).

 

Of course, I am more than happy to be corrected by anyone who attended Martinsville Horrorfest and are willing to put me right. But there is one more little inconsistency that doesn't sit right with me.

William is always going on about how the Camp Crystal Lake novels are rare and out of print. So, what are the chances of people turning up at the rear end of nowhere turning up with eleven sets (that's 44 books)  and another four individual books  just for him to sign? It really does not add up (much like the majority of things surrounding William Pattison).

Amazingly, Brittany Lyn Thompson did not make an appearence while William was away at the convention (imagine how surprised we were: Not at all).

There isn't a thing Pattison can do about this. He is being investigated by Blog-Talk Radio for giving out callers phone numbers to one of the people who used to present a wolf pack (it's supposed to be one word, but Pattison, being the amazing author he is types it as two words) who then got his wife to call and impersonate Brittany Lyn Thompson. So he will be penalized and he might even lose his radio show altogether (and we haven't even gone into the copyright infringement with the full songs he plays before his show, or his mysogynistic and homophobic behaviour and rants (all of which have been pointed out to Blog-Talk Radio).

You wanted this fight Pattison. You kept calling people out who did nothing to you. You lied about people you had no business lying about. We will continue disproving your constant lies, as well as keeping the William Morse AKA Eric Patterson parody page up and running, because there isn't a damn thing you can do about that either.

So, anyways, keep America strong, watch horror films, drink your gravy and eat your Subways! Mine's a footlong!

So he thinks he knows who we are.

William Pattison actually thinks he has found out who we are. The misinformed and frankly cowardly excuse for a human being thinks because this blog is published on the same platform as someone who wrote a blogpost about him, that he can accuse him of writing this here.

After William Pattison blocked the person called Sam Hull, he put this status on his Facebook.

'Sam Hull just emailed me threatening me because I mentioned his name. He is trying to say that he is not involved in the stalking. Well, Sam, why don't you explain why the latest blogs are coming from the same blog provider that you use and bare similar names? Answer that fuckwad. You can deny all you want but you, your asshole brother, and buddy are found out. So, fuck you, you low life piece of shit.'

Charming words from a public figure who has 'hundreds (lol) of fans. Of course, he carried on his tirade, probably because he knew he wouldn't get a reply from Sam Hull as he had blocked him.

'Oh, and Sam, Dani told a friend of mine that you were fucking with me. So, shut your mouth you little bitch and get your just desserts (anyone for Cheesecake Raspberry cookies that actually taste like cheesecake, and actually taste like they have reaspberries in 'em). You have been harassing me and talking bullshit. You're not bullshitting your way out of it.'

It makes me smile. He presumes he knows who writes this. He presumes he knows who is behind the William Morse AKA Eric Patterson page. The fact is, people, he doesn't know a single thing. He knows that Yo Soy Ramon is from the same area as he is, but he doesn't mention that. He thinks that Allen Alberson is behind this, but he is not. He thinks Dani Carnage and his brother Sam are behind this. Again, he fails miserably.

Now, as I have mentioned before, William likes posing as his niece and trolling the William Morse parody (yes, parody. You see, you claim you are a public figure, and all parodies of a public figure are well within the law, hence how we know we are going nowhere) page. well today, William aka Eric AKA Brittany AKA why decided to make a death threat against the people (yes, there is more than one person behind the page) who moderate the page. It went a little something like this.

'And trust me I do know who you are and when you live and it's done with. So have a good life and enjoy these last couple of days. Done talking don't need to argue with stupid.'

Hilarity ensues. If he thinks anyone is going to take anything he says seriously after the whole 'the FBI have files on my stalkers' thing, he has another thing coming.

You see William Pattison, our evidence is crystal-clear. Our numbers are growing, and there are no more places to hide. More people are speaking out against you. Remember that thing when you tagged the paranormal community in your post? That sort of thing is going to become more regular.

The fact you keep chopping and changing who you think is behind this again shows how very clueless and helpless you are. You are flinging shit as far as you can, and praying some of it sticks. You haven't managed it yet, but we will be sure to let you know when you do, because revealing who we are is going to be momentous.

Yo Soy Ramon says hi by the way. We loved how you shut him down and how you started to fumble the second show. You hardly said a word. We can tell how badly it shook you up. To be embarassed like that in front of your peers (who are all doing so much better than you) must have stung really bad. We can tell it did. You didn't even mention working on Yesterday's Enterprise or Star Trek II and III, and you even had a conversation about Star Trek! Surely if those lies (yes, we know they are lies) were true, you would have told your fellow authors at Linkville Press. Another slice of evidence that goes against you.

You see William, you can continue to throw names around. Continue to tell everyone you have a stalker. But know this, there isn't one of us. We don't lie. We wish you no harm. All we want is for you to be honest, to stop lying about every little thing. It seriously is a case of every time you open your mouth, lies escape.

I understand living the way you do, looking like you do and smelling the way you do, it must be hard to make friends in real life. Making them up on the internet and having communications that only you write isn't the way to go though. Watching Miss World and picking out the names Nikki Mallia and Guadaloupe Gonzalez isn't clever. Lying about horror Bob isn't clever. These lies have been proven. We will continue to reveal your lies for as long as you continue to perpetuate them.

Just remember William. Internet friends aren't real friends. For all you know, many of us could be on your friends list. Just something for you to mull over my friend!

So, anyways, keep America strong, drink your gravy and eat your Subways! Mines a footlong!

He had a tattoo of her name because she wronged him. Only thing wrong is her name is misspelt on the tattoo. Hilarity.

Me and Johnny Depp are really good friends.

The REAL Guadalupe Gonzalez. Notice the horiffic scars on her face? Neither did we.

Pissing in a cupboard vs pissing and shitting your pants in public because you thought you saw a ghost.

William Pattison aka Eric Morse tried to create drama, belittling Kane Hodder for urinating in a cupboard at a paranormal investigation. The thing was, my mentor got the place wrong. Amazingly, when he invited his 'friends' (and I use the term loosely) to comment on more drama he tried to create, the reaction was priceless. Here is a screen cap of one of the comments.







Hilarious right? His facts were all wrong, and the lady had no idea who the hell he is/was/has been etc.

So Pattison didn't think it was right that Kane pissed in a cupboard. Imagine my surprise when my mentor posted this status.


That's right. He released his bowels and urinated himself. In public. The only reason he was looking back was to make sure he didn't leave a trail of feces that could be used to follow him home. And 'in the paranormal'? Really? In the paranormal what? It becomes more and more apparent, the more he types, that he can't spell for toffee, and that it is no wonder his new book Robert Diablow hasn't been released yet. The person that he pays (yes, he has to pay a fee to get his book edited) is probably having to write the whole book again, judging from the amount of spelling mistakes ole' shitty pants Billy makes when he writes Facebook comments.

We are here to uncover the lies people, and out William Pattison AKA Eric Morse as the liar we know he is. So remember, keep America strong, drink your gravy and eat your Subways. Mines a footlong!

Lies, lies and even more lies.

 

 

Well, Howlers, it appears my mentor has been lying rather a lot. First, we found out that Horror Bob never existed. Take a look at Horror Bob's picture on his blogger profile (pictured above).

Now, take a look at this book on amazon and this post on E-cards. Does the picture seem familiar?














  

Look how similar to William Pattison Horror Bob's wife Jennifer writes. It's uncanny.





So it is quite obvious that if Horror Bob doesn't exist (I would like to say that there is no public record of Bob, his wife, his son or a video store, plus the evidenc above that has come to light) it would make sense that William Pattison's story about him being a 'hero' and saving a woman from having her face slashed is false. He made it up. Again, there is no public record, no police record of the incident, and the only Guadalupe Gonzalez that comes up is a Miss World contestant. Amazingly, Nikki Mallia, who William Pattison wrote a song about performed by Count Six String, is also the name of a Miss World contestant. Do you see a pattern forming here?

Pattison also repeatedly uses fake profiles. He uses the profiles of his alledged sister, his alledged niece and a singer/lyricist by the name of  John Margolis. Just visit William Morse AKA Eric Patterson to see him attempting to goad the people who he assumes run the page. Little does he know there is quite the network of people working throughout the day and night pulling this info up about him, as it is incredibly easy to find on the internet.

William Pattison also claimed that Brandon Slagle had been asked to go on his show three times, but Slagle refused, so Pattison 'royally black-balled him'. Imagine our surprise (sarcasm) when Brandon Slagle informs us that he never got an invite to be on Pattison's show, and doesn't even know who the hell William Pattison AKA Eric Morse is.

There was also the time Pattison made profiles in the names of Kathleen Wilhoite and Zarabeth MaGee (Wilhoite was in Witchboard, and her character's nickname was Zarabeth). It was found out by Toublius Oobach outed Morse as the person behind the fake profiles.

Pattison Also claims that he wrote the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode 'Yesterday's Enterprise'. We have had confirmation from one of the two writers of that episode that Mr Pattison had absolutely nothing to do with that episode whatsoever, nor did he work on Star Trek II and Star Trek III.

One last little bit of info. Has anyone else realised that Mr Pattison mispronounces his pen names last name as 'Morris'? How he claims to know Johnny Depp? Well, Eric Morris is a famous acting coach, so I can only assume  that Pattison mispronounces his pen name's last name so people will undoubtedly associate the two names together. What he doesn't expect is that people will think 'If William Morse is such good friends with Johnny Depp, why does Johnny Depp only know Morse by his pen name? He is honestly insulting everyone's intelligence with his exploits, and I am quite saddened that there are people out there who are willing to defend him (at least I assume these people are real. But judging by his past and present exploits, the chances are he has created his fans and their facebook pages).

I implore the readers of this piece to share this far and wide, and also tell people to join the William Morse AKA Eric Patterson page on Facebook.

So remember, keep America strong, drink your gravy and Eat Subways!! Mine's a footlong!

A Present from my best friend and mentor.

Who am I?

Allow me to introduce myself. Horror and scares everyone. My name is William Morse aka Eric Patterson. I wrote some Saturday the 14th books in the mid-90s, y'know, which I feel I should be given a huge amount of credit for. I also wrote a book that is a blatant rip-off of the fabulous British tv show All Creatures Great and Small, about a time-travelling vetinary surgeon who helps intergalactic cows give birth to their young. I also fleshed out a screenplay originally written by my associate Derrick Old, and turned it into a novel entitled I'm a happy bunny, come play in the flowers with me. Alrighty then, I am most famously known for my, y'know mispronounciation of the word Morse, obsessing over the famous twins Michael and Ashton Kutcher and blaming all my mistakes and obsessions on that, errrrr y'know fantasy creature that lives under the errrrrrrr bridge in the Three Billy Goats Gruff fairy tale. I am allowed to bully people and call them bitches, tweeds and fat small pieces of shit, y'know, but if anyone dares critisize me, they will definitely get called out in one of my awesome video blogs, where I proceed to wobble my chins, show off my stained t-shirt (I love gravy people. If I could put it on all my clothes, I totally would) and generally make the whole world laugh at me. So anyways, I am NOT Sam Hull aka Sam Smith aka Frosty. I do not know who he is, but he is not worthy of my time. Nor do I know who Allen Elbertson is, or Dani Carnage. They obviously aren't Johnny Derp (who is a longtime friend and associate of mine) so why should I waste my time with them?
Now you know the real me. I am honest, I rarely make things up (can you see what I did there?) and I love my Subways! But I will eat anything that is put infront of me, including small animals and children. So, remember, keep America strong, watch me eating Subways and sweat when you eat, just like me.

A happy day indeed.

The truth about the fake profiles.

New idea for weight loss.

Could it be the solution to all my problems?

You can royally thank Subways for this!

I like to sing and exercise.

Ooooo whistle Dixie for me.

I got myself a few footlongs (and some considerably smaller ones) for me after my book signing. BRING ON LUNCHTIME PEOPLE! These are the real Howlies!!

Because we love Kim Davis!

This is committment!

This is real love people. What an amazing committment to make to me. He wants me.

I love Eric Morris so goddamn much.

Me and Eric used to talk all the time. Unfortunately when he sent me a dick pic, I was somewhat put off. The amount of assorted foods in his pubic hair, the crusty yellow dust that both dripped and flaked from under his folds put me off somewhat. I made it up with him though. He promised to wash, and I promised to love him forever and ever.

I don't like Jizzmas.