Oh poor Willy....back to bullshitting again. How crime-ridden is San Mateo?

Let's have a moment of sympathy for William Pattison AKA Eric Morse. He posted this not so long ago.

"Fucking Redwood City cops! I was assaulted on my way to Sequoia Station. The guy started screaming at meand started pushing me around. He looked like a meth addict. I grabbed my phone and hit the emergency speed dial. The guy saw me do this and took off on his bike. I've been sitting here waiting for the police for nearly an hour. Unfucking believable".

Allen Albertson's whereabouts at the time of the incident cannot be confirmed. What was confirmed was that Redwood City Police Department have had no reports of an incident of this kind. So it is obviously Willy Shitpants attempting to claw back an ounce of sympathy after being shut down after his lies are exposed.

But for the sake of argument, let's go through some of the things that always seem to happen when William is involved in crime on the lawless streets of San Mateo.

*1. Where are other witnesses? Surely there are other people around. If I saw a man being attacked, I would surely take note.

*2. Why would he wait in the same place he was alledgedly assaulted? Surely his own safety is paramount. The alledged police officer who assaulted him knows where it happened, and might return with others to finish the job (but it never happened).

*3. If he had time to emergency call on his phone, why didn't he capture a video?

*4. How the hell did he have time to press emergency call if he was being pushed?

*5. Why does he constantly make such bullshit up when it is so incredibly simple to fact check if what he is saying is real?

It seems like the streets of San Mateo need a superhero. Perhaps Willy Shitpants is our man. He has the power of stench. That dead racoon smell just doesn't go away. He has the power of internet friends who he considers real friends. He has the power of Subways. The meatball is strong with this one. He also has repressed homosexual tendencies which I am sure is why the cop was pushing and screaming at Willy Shitpants. He probably thought he was getting a sexy strip-tease.

We are still here. If the lies start coming again, we will tell the truth. You can count on us for that.

So remember, keep America strong and eat your Subways! Mine's a footlong!