Tuesday 5 April 2016

Who made Pattison 'King'?



Hello Howlers, and welcome to another post here on Devour my footlong. It seems that my mentor, the never renowned and infamous (yes, infamous) William Pattison aka Eric Morse has yet again gained his e-ball, and posted this on his page. I will transcribe it below, as reading black on red is difficult at the best of times. I will also interject numerous times to argue the points William is attempting to make.

 

'What do you call a person who spends their days harassing people, putting up insulting ans harassing pictures, creating "parody" (it should actually be quotation marks here, which look like this; - ', -  Ed) pages on Facebook and Twitter only focusing on two people and attacking them? And, (using a coordinating conjunction to begin a sentence makes this whole post look far below the level of a published author. - Ed) what about these people using fake profiles to slander, libel and try to ruin people's lives with lies? Well, you can call them stalkers or cyber bullies, but we in the horror community have a more simple and descriptive (Simple and descriptive? Seriously? - Ed) word for these people. We call them LOSERS. (More simple and descriptive? Ok. Let me begin by asking what these people lose at? That is never explained, so it being more descriptive is wrong. Secondly, how is it more simple? You in no way give any substance for your namecalling, making yourself once more into the stalker and cyber bully you seem to constantly rally against. - Ed) .

Don't drink the losers Kool-Aid (mmmmm Kool-Aid. - Ed). They are cowards and liars (something we here have proven Mr Pattison is time and again, with his numerous lies about vigilanteism, writing Star Trek, not writing fan fiction etc. Cowards? Yes, because someone who constantly blocks anyone who puts across a differing opinion and then talks shit about them after they have been blocked is certainly brave - Ed). Why else would they hide behind fake names (Ok Eric Morse/Morris - Ed) and fake profiles (Ok Kathleen Wilhoite, Gerald Fitzgerald, Brittany Lynn Thompson, Jeanette Thompson, Bob Masters, Jennifer Masters - Ed)? They have no honor or integrity. They are grown men and women who act like nine year olds and deserve as much consideration (Hold on. Are you saying nine year old children don't deserve consideration? Because that is exactly what it sounds like here William Pattison. Here we were thinking you couldn't get any more despicable - Ed).....

Ignore them and show them as much respect as they show this community and horror in general. (Which one is it William? It has to be one or the other. If you are ignoring them, you won't be acknowledging their existence, but if you show them as much respect as they do the horror community and horror in general, these people would be some of the most respected in the genre. Did you see the Artists in horror page, which actually gives thanks to horror artists all year round, and doesnt ask anyone to send emails which are sent in private, which then gives you cause to brag about how much success you've had with the event, when there is no way to quantize how many emails have been sent without asking each and every one of your friends - Ed).

The Horror Community (which William Pattison is not a part of) is trying to grow up and regain the respect it once had (horror has not been a respectable genre ever. People will always look down on horror because fear is an emotion many do not want to experience. People want entertainment, not to be looking behind them for shadow people while they walk home with urine and excrement filled trousers and underwear - Ed). Immature people like you are holding it back. We are tired of your game playing. (You mean you are tired of it don't you William? Because we get a lot of praise for doing what we do and not giving you the power to silence us - Ed). Grow up. The Horror Community is not applauding your efforts (No. Not applauding. Throwing their hands up in praise and their heads back with laughter. Applauding is much too reserved for what we do - Ed), they are shaking their heads and saying you need to get lives. You are disgraces.......

Stop cyber bullying and stalking in the horror community (that is why we do what we do William, to stop you bad mouthing people without reason, to stop your insane tirades against people who are doing so much better than you are and to uncover all the lies you tell to promote yourself in a positive light - Ed). We don't have to take this with our backs to the wall. We don't have to take this, you can end it all'.

An amusing read for sure, and one that yet again shows just how insecure and delluded William Pattison is. He even made a rhyme at the end of his post, so I am going to end this blog in similar fashion.

We will keep this up, put it all in a song.
We'll even talk about your love for crushing footlongs.
Never touched by a woman
Can't even touch himself.
So he sticks things up his ass like his new Batman on his shelf.

Lie after lie every single day
He would be so much more relaxed if he just came out as gay
Facebook friends aren't real, so cry and stamp your feet
The smell of dead racoon and a dumpster is anything but sweet.

Harassing memes and funny posts are the order of the day
My mentor really loves me but won't come out as gay
We talk long into the night about food and such like
then we masturbate on the phone late into the night.

So, anyways, remember Howlers, keep America strong, watch horror films, drink your gravy and eat your Subways! Mine's a footlong!!

P.S - We have been informed that the two lines William finished his post off with are actually taken from the song 'Bully' by Shinedown. He doesn't credit them (which would obviously be the right thing to do). This doesn't surprise anyone though, as William constantly 'borrows' from others (Bunny with the 'Sippy sippy' thing, Dr. Who and his Traveler story, Jason's mask for his young adult F13th novels). The man can't even come up with a couple of rhyming lines to finish his own posts with. Where's the talent from this author/artist/lecturer/bullshitter/stalker/bully?? Can anyone tell us? 






No comments:

Post a Comment